Happy-Go-Lucky
by Autobot Chromia
Summary: Bumblebee is always the mech you go to when your feeling down. His perky,happy-go-lucky spirit just brightens your day. What happens when Bumblebee can't stand it anymore? Can't stand the war, the missing of his creators, the fear and pain? Will he accept or ask for help, or take matters into his own hands? Ratet T for safety and suicide attempt.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1 Plans and Warning Signs

Bumblebee rolled over in his berth. He was unable to recharge,again. It was the fourth day in a row that he had been unable to sleep. It was really starting to gain up on him. He was jumpy, so much so that Ratchet had threatened to subdate him. He had begun to feel physically sick from the lack of recharge, so much so that every time he tried to refuel his systems threatened to purge. He had once or twice before, but he hadn't told anybody. He hadn't told anybody about the restlessness,the sickness, the fear.

He closed his optics and rolled over again. Every time he closed them though, images filled his proccessor. Images from the past. Images of the youth center he had been in expoding, every bot there had died. He had nearly offlined himself. The Autobots had taken him in, as a child of the war. They trained him in the art of war from a young age so that he could fight once he was old enough. He still wasn't 'old enough', but that didn't matter. There was a war going on, and youngling still or not he still had to fight.

He sat up on the side of the berth,rubbing his tired optics. He just wanted some rest. That was all. rest wasn't coming though,and he knew that it wouldn't come tomarrow or the next day or the next. He would go on feeling sick,go on jumping at every little noise, go on seeing things that no youngling should ever have to see.

/I just want it all to stop/ he whirred softly to himself. /Everything/

What could end it all? What could take away his fear? His menatl angush? The only thing that would really take it all away,was death. Death.

Bumblebee looked up,starring at the wall. That was it! He had to offline,he just had to. He would be with his creators again. He would meet them for the first time since he was a sparkling. He couldn't remember his creators, as they had died soon after he was born. He had been put in the youth center,but a few vorns later that too had been destroyed.

/This has to be planned. Carefully/ Bumblebee told himself.

He wasn't stupid,not in the least bit. He knew that this would take time,that this needed to be expertly planned. He laid back down and closed his heavy optics. As he carefully planned everything out, they became heavier. Maybe he would get some rest tonight. Maybe,just maybe...he would sleep.

Bumblebee woke up an earth hour later. It was time to get up. It had again been a sleepless night,except for that one hour he had somehow snagged. Before he had fallen asleep, everything had easily fallen into place. Even now Bumblebee went over his plans. They seemed perfect. No. They were perfect.

Bumblebee went out into the main hangar. The others were already up. Bumblebee tried to perk up, he had to appear that everything was all right. He straightened up his doorwings,and went into the center of the room,walking towards the others.

"Mornin', Bee."Arcee said.

/Good morning/ Bumblebee whirred back.

"Are you all right?"Arcee asked,looking at the yellow mech."You look tired."

/I'm fine/Bumblebee buzzed. _I'll be better soon_ He thought to himself.

"Bumblebee."Ratchet said from behind him."Your readings show that you are low on energy. Go to the vault and get yourself a cube."

/All right/

Bumblebee went off and got the said cube. He only managed to down half of it before darting to the wash racks and loosing it. Thankfully,nobody noticed or heard him. He wiped his mouth off and headed back to the main hangar.

"Hey,Bee."Bulkhead said.

The ex-wrecker had been practicing in what he called 'the arena'. There was still a small hole in the wall from where Ratchet had thrown him thorugh,but that didn't bother him any.

/What's up,Bulk?/ Bee whirred cheerfully.

"Hey,you want to go practice?"Bulkhead asked,wanting to do it with somebody else other then himself.

/Sure/ Bee answered.

"All right!"Bulkhead said,slaping the yellow mech on his back armour.

To his surprise,it shifted slightly. It wasn't supposed to be doing that,unless the bot in it was loosing weight. Bulkhead pushed it aside. Bee was still young,he could be having a growth spurt,and loosing some weight because of it.

"You ready?"Bulkhead asked,taking a fighters stance.

/You bet/ came the reply.

Bulkhead charged the yellow youngling with a battle cry. Bumblebee skillfully dodged him,and kicked Bulkhead in the back plates as he himself jumped into the air.

"Nice on."Bulkhead said,turning and standing in a fighters stance again.

Bumblebee did the same./Thanks/

Bulkhead charged the youngling again,but changed his direction. Instead of aiming for his right shoulder,as he looked like he was going to, he changed and went for the right. Bumblebee wasn't expecting that and felt himself being lifted into the air. He was tossed to the side,not roughly,but not all that gently either. Bulkhead rushed at him as he landed with a thud,and jumped with another battle cry. He landed next to Bumblebee,and elboed him in the chest plates being sure not to dent him,or hurt him.

/Awww/Bumblebee whirred. /You got me./

"Yep."Bulkhead said,standing up."You have to be ready for anything in the battle field."

/Yeah/Bumblebee whirred.

Bulkhead took Bumblebee's hand and pulled him up. Bulkhead didn't say anything,but he noticed be felt lighter. Alot lighter. He still thought it to be a growth spurt or something.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 Pushed to the Limit

Bumblebee 'woke up' again the next day. It had been another restless night,and he felt worse then before. His plan was sounding better to him by the second. He decided to wait a few moments before getting up. He had a pounding helmache,and movement irritated it,along with sound and light. He closed his optics, and remembered when he had been little.

When he had been little,he had been trained in the art of war. As soon as he was old enough to read,he had been given data-pads on wars and tactical plans. He had never had a youngling-hood, not like the ones he had read in normal data-pads. He had loved the stories about mechs or femmes with families, espeacially big families. He would never complain, but he had always wanted a life like that. No war, now worries, no fear. Just family, and normal every day life.

Bumblebee shot up. Forget the plan,he couldn't stand it any longer. He needed to leave,and now. He wanted his creators, worse then he ever thought imaginable. He stood up and went to the door. He typed in the lock code,and added as many protective firewalls and encrypted codes as he could. He went to his desk and opened up a drawer. He reached into the deep drawer and pulled out just what he had placed there for this specific purpose. A sharp, metal blade.

/Hello/ Bumblebee whirred.

He took the blade and looked at it. How was he going to do this. He knew there were a few main veins he could cut, but he wanted more. He wanted to end the pain, but to do so he would have to inflict pain upon himself. He didn't mind that though. The end was in sight, and he wasn't afraid of the pain or the end.

He first removed his armour. It fell to the floor with a echoing thud and metalic clink. He looked at his bare protoform,exposed wires,and energon veins. He took the blade and dug it into the protoform of his servo. He closed his optics tight for a moment as the pain surged through his body. He dragged the blade up his servos though,savoring every moment.

He did it to the other servo,a small bit of energon pooling on the ground. It wasn't that bad,as he hadn't cut the veins yet. He then dragged the blade across his chasis. He was unable to hold back a pained moan as it scraped the sensitive spark chamber.

"Bumblebee? Is everything all right?"Ratchet's voice asked."It sounds like you hurt yourself."

/I-I'm fine/ Bumblebee whirred back.

He heard Ratchet try the door."Bumblebee,unlock this door."

/No. D-don't come in/Bumblebee whirred,panicking.

He didn't have much time before Ratchet forced his way in. He could already hear the medic trying to break the codes and pass the firewalls. Bumblebee slid the knife under one of the main tubes in his wrist. He snapped the blade up,slicing through the delicate tubes. He couldn't hold back a small whirr of pain as he did so.

"Bumblebee! Unlock this door this instant!"Ratchet shouted.

/D-don't come in/Bumblebee gasped as he sliced his other wrist.

The energon was pooling all around him, now a dark blue. He shuttered his optics,trying to just focus on his mission. Not listen to the banging on the door,the calling out to him. Bumblebee sat down on the floor,and dragged the blade across his pedes,watching the energon bead up before pooling to the floor. He then cut the main energon tubes,and he cried out once as he felt the sticky blue liquid rush from him.

"Bumblebee, open up!"Ratchet shouted again.

"Bumblebee, please unlock your door."Optimus' voice called out as well.

/N-no! Please, leave me alone. I have to do this/Bumblebee whirred,his voice weakening with his body.

"Do what? Open up now!"Ratchet shouted.

Bumblebee ignored them. Ratchet's voice had reminded him of something. He was a medic,he would try to save him. He couldn't let that happen;it would ruin everything. He quickly thrust the blade into his stomach,still bare from it's armour. He yelped in pain and surprise as it cut him. He hadn't expected it to hurt that much, but that didn't matter now.

"Please,Bee."Ratchet's voice pleaded.

"I almost have it unlocked,Ratchet."Optimus said,hurridly trying to get past all the firewalls and encrypted codes Bumblebee had used to lock his door.

"Try your override code."Ratchet said.

"I did."Optimus said.

Bumblebee vented deeply. He was standing again,and flooded with pain in almost every area of his frame. The floor was nothing more than a blue pool of energon blood. This was it. Bumblebee placed the blade over his spark chamber. It felt almost natural as the blade hovered there,ready to be thrust foward into the awaiting spark benath the chamber.

/See ya'/ Bumblebee said to the two mechs, frantically trying to break in.

"See ya'?"Ratchet asked. Suddenly it dawned on him."Bee,no!"he cried.

Optimus had finally realized Bumblebee's intentions of self harm as well. His scout was going to commit suicide. Without a word Optimus stopped typing in override codes and breaking through firewalls. He took a few steps back.

"Back away from the door,Ratchet."Optimus said.

Ratchet did so quickly.

"Hurry,Optimus."

Optimus took a quick breath and ran foward,putting his shoulder foward. He threw his entire weight in the door,and it fell foward. The sudden entrance had startled Bumblebee,and the blade went foward.

"Bumblebee!"Ratchet shouted,almost screamed.

The blade had entered the spark chamber,but just the tip. Hopefully the spark had just been nicked,hopefully not even that.

"Bumbelbee,don't move."Ratchet instructed.

He took a step foward,and Bumblebee took a step back. In one swift movement,he had yanked the blade from his chest and it clattered to the floor,spraying blood up from it's stained blade and splattered floor. He had taken his blasters out in the same movement,and pointed them at Ratchet.

/Stay b-back/he whirred.

Optimus could tell that he was frightened. It showed in his optics,his actions. Bumblebee wouldn't pull a gun on a friend.

"Bumblebee."Optimus said as calmly and as gently as he could."I know that in your spark you do not want to do that. I know that you would not harm Ratchet,or anyone else."

Bumblebee nodded. I he put one of his blasters away,and lifted the other one up. /Y-your right,Optimus. I d-don't want to hurt R-ratchet/

He put the blaster to the side of his helm.

"Bumblebee,no!"Ratchet exclaimed,taking a step foward.

Bumblebee shied back,charging up the canon./Stay back!/ he cried out.

Ratchet took a step back again. Suddenly,Bumblebee spasmed slightly. That was a sign that his spark had been nicked,or worse. He regained control,and charged up the blaster more.

"Please, Bumblebee."Optimus pleaded."Do not do this. Stop, and let us help you."

/No/ came the sharp reply.

Bumblebee spasmed again,his blaster servo flying in the air and his optics rolling up. His doorwings fluttered frantically. The second the blaster had moved from the yellow helm, Optimus and Ratchet made their move. There was no time to loose. Ratchet tackled the mech to the ground as Optimus grabbed the servo with the blaster and held it pinned above the yellow helm.

"Hold him down."Ratchet said."I need to grab some tools."

Optimus nodded,looking at the yellow and gray frame beneath him, a stunned look on his yellow faceplates.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 Fight

Not a moment sooner after Ratchet had rushed to his med-bay, Bumblebee started to come out of his stupor. He looked up into Optimus' face.

"Remain calm."Optimus said.

Bumblebee did the complete opposite. He franticly began to thrash about. He tried to pry his wrist free,but Optimus' grip remained firm. He let out a moaning wail.

/P-please ,Optimus. Let me g-go/

"I cannot do that."Optimus said gently.

Bumblebee continued to flail,panting hard.

"Bumblebee,stop. You will only hurt yourself mo-"Optimus was suddenly slammed aside.

Bumblebee had kicked with as much force as he could, as his pedes were free still. Optimus was flung aside,rather surprised at the strenght the scout still had left in him. Optimus heard a blaster power up. He lunged at the yellow youngling, grabbing his servo just in time for the blast to leave the barrel. To his great relief, and Bumblebee's dismay, it hit the desk, leaving a large, smoking hole.

"Bumblebee, please."Optimus said,now pinning down both servos as well as his pedes.

Bumblebee seemed to be calming down some, or he was exhausted from his wounds and the energy used to fight Optimus and fire the blaster. The flailing and struggling had stopped,and Bumblebee lay still, panting heavily. He retracted his blaster,letting his hand come back to it's place.

"Bumblebee?"Optimus asked, hoping that this attempt had passed,and that the scout's mind was clearing.

He was answered,instead, with a retch. Optimus quickly got up and rolled Bumblebee on his side. Bumblebee retched again,the stab wound to his stomach plating taking it's toll. Bumblebee purged weakly, the greenish liquid mixing with the all ready blue floor. Optimus gently rubbed his back struts as the scout continued to retch. Once Bumblebee had stopped vomiting, Optimus rolled him over to face him. Bumblebee closed his optics and looked away. He took his hands and held his helm, his digits making clawing motions but never cutting him.

"Bumblebee."Optimus said gently.

/What do I do?/ Bumblebee whirred to himself,not expecting an answer from Optimues. /What do I do now?/

He felt strong hands lifting him to a sitting position. Optimus wrapped a servo around him, ignoring the blood and puke. Bumblebee no longer pushed him away, but instead clung to him, burring his face on the red and blue shoulder.

/I-I just-/

"Shhhh."Optimus said,holding the bot closer as he started to sob uncontrollably.

/I-I just...I-/

"Shhhh,Bee."Optimus repeated.

Bumblebee contnued to cry on his shoulder, holding on as if his life depended on it.

/What do I do? What am I supposed to do now?/Bumblebee asked weakly between sobs.

The question was no longer rhetorical, but really asking what he was to do now. He was lost, at wits end.

"You let us help you."Optimus said.

Ratchet then came in. He was relieved to see that Bumblebee was no longer trying to snuff himself,and was holding onto Optimus. It pained him to see Bumblebee so hurt, so upset, even if his pain was self inflicted.

"Sorry I took so long."Ratchet said hurridly."I couldn't find a sudative."

"I don't think you have need for it anymore."Optimus said.

Ratchet nodded. He scanned Bumblebee with the scanner in his servo. The readings were far from good. The energon levels were low, too low for Bumblebee to stay online for much longer. His wounds were to the extreem, as the scout had spared himself nothing.

"It's all right."Optimus said,gently rubbing his hand on the scouts shaking back as he continued to cry.

Bumblebee slumped foward,his sobbing being replaced with sharp intakes. His optics flickered dimly.

"Ratchet."Optimus said,turning to the medic.

"We need to get him to the med-bay. Quickly. If I don't start treatments on him now, he could still get what he wanted."Ratchet said.

Optimus nodded. He laid Bumblebee on the floor to straighten him out before scooping him up in his servos. They were both spattered with blood and vomit. Bumblebee didn't protest,and wraped his servos around Optimus' neck.

"Shhh."Optimus siad gently again as the scout's intakes hitched.

As he walked quickly,Bumblebee spasmed again,becoming rigid in Optimus' servos before falling limp,his optics half shuttered.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 Fixing the Frame

As Optimus carried the half alive mech to the med-bay, the others had returned from picking up the children. It was a Saturday, so they had picked them up early. Bulkhead had picked up Raf as Bumblebee hadn't been up yet.

"Bee? What happened?"the small male asked,worried as he saw his guardian being carried, blue liquid trailing across the floor.

"Take them home!"Ratchet almost shouted at Arcee and Bulkhead.

"What happened?"Arcee asked.

"I cannot tell you with children around. Take them home at once."

"You heard the mech."Bulkhead said to his charge and Raf.

Miko protested a bit,but decided to go easy as this looked like an emergency. She hopped into Bulkhead's passengar seat without another word.

"Is Bumblebee going to be okay?"Raf asked.

Ratchet didn't know how to answer."He should."

Raf nodded as he climbed into Bulkhead's back seat. Arcee had already taken off with Jack. Bulkhead soon left with the two children. Ratchet turned his attention back to the med-bay. Optimus had already laid Bumblebee down.

"Why,Bee?"Ratchet asked as he stopped the bleeding lines and fritzing wires.

He but Bumblebee on an energon transfusion,and started to work on his stomach plating. Bumblebee had succeeded in stabbing his tank,not bad, but not good. With that patched,Ratchet then started to work on the torn and still bleeding pedes and servos. He then bandaged them tightly and moved on. The next was the spark chamber.

"Primus."Ratchet vented as he removed the outer chamber to look at the spark inside.

It was a dull blueish white. It should be brighter,not this deathly gray. A large nick was in the side.

"He needs open spark surgery."Ratchet said,hurridly grabbing tools and shoving Optimus out of the med-bay.

Optimus had been watching silently. Now he found himself in the main hangar with Bulkhead and Arcee waiting there.

"What happened?"Arcee asked.

Optimus looked at his soilders silently for a moment,choosing his words carefully.

"Bumblebee has attempted suicide."Optimus said at last.

Arcee gasped.

"What?" Bulkhead asked in shock.

"Why?"Arcee asked.

"I have not heard the reason from Bumblebee himself, yet."Optimus said."But the most likely reason is that the war has caught up to our young scout."

The two nodded in agreement. War can and will do terrible things to a bot. Especially to children and the young. Bumblebee was still a child himself. He had never had a normal younglinghood. He had been raised in war, taught war, and knew nothing but war. They often wondered what he was going to do with himself once the war had finally ended, as he hd never expierenced anything else.

"Poor Bee."Bulkhead stated.

Arcee nodded. Optimus started to head to the moniter, as there was nothing else for him to do.

"Um,sir?"Arcee asked.

"Yes ,Arcee?" Optimus asked,turning to look at her.

"You might want to visit the wash rack,Optimus."Arcee said.

Optimus quickly glanced himself over. He was still covered in Bumblebee's half processed energon, and the blue energon blood was quickly drying on him. Optimus gave a quick nod and started to head towards the wash racks.

"Come on,Bumblebee."Ratchet said, trying his hardest to keep that spark beating.

That spark just didn't want to oblige. It slowed down at times, and once stopped completely.

"No!"Ratchet shouted, defibulating the open spark.

Bumblebee's body tensed,back arching, with every shock from the defibulator. His doorwings would spasm once or twice, but the spark just would not beat.

"Don't you dare!"Ratchet yelled.

He upped the power on the defibulator again,sending an almost dangerous level of electricity to him. Just as Ratchet was about to turn away, give up, the spark moved. Barely, but it moved.

"Come on."Ratchet coaxed, continuing treatment.

The spark beat became stronger. The line on the moniter began to move up and down in a broken pattern. It seemed that it didn't want to give Ratchet the satisfaction of beating normally, but it still beat. It was slow,irregular, fast, and then slow again, but it was beating. Ratchet breathed a sigh of relief. He kept asking again and again to the uncontious mech a question that could not be answered until he woke up, and still would be unanswered if he refused it.

"Why,Bumblebee? What drove you to this?"

Finally,after hours of treatment and numerous scares, Bumblebee was begining to stabilize. His spark beat still worried Ratchet,but his energon and energy levels were starting to normalize. He decided that maybe now he could leave Bumblebee for a few moments, to tell the others of his condition. No sooner had he left the med-bay the three bots asked him, almost at the same time,

"How is he?"

"Stabilizing."Ratchet answered.

"Why would he do that?"Bulkhead asked.

"He's young."Ratchet said.

"Exactly. He has his whole life ahead of him."Arcee said.

"Does he?"Optimus asked, not sharply though, but really asking."He is a youngling, a child in a war. He knows nothing else. When the wars end, what is he to do? He has never expierenced anything other then bloodshed and fighting."

Arcee vented. Optimus was right. She could remember times as a youngling just playing with her siblings, going to education centers, and going out with friends. Bumblebee never had done any of those things. He had lost everything before his memory core started to collect data.

"He will need counceling."Ratchet said.

"Agreed."Optimus replied."We will all help him there."

"Fixing the frame was the easy part."Ratchet mused."Fixing the hurt is not.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5 Trying to Fix the Hurt

Darkness. Warm darkness wrapped it's tentacles in a soothing ribbon around the yellow mech. He had no idea what was happening, or where he was, but he didn't care. He wasn't afraid. He wasn't in pain. This must be death. But something was wrong. If this was indeed the Well of Sparks, why was it so dark? It was comforting, but it just didn't feel right.

/What's happening?/ he whirred.

His voice seemed so far away, as if it wasn't even his own. He couldn't be in the Well of Sparks. He would be able to speak normally if he was. He asked again.

/What is going on?/

His voice seemed closer now. A very distant voice replied. Bumblebee couldn't tell if it was even a voice, it was so soft.

"Bee."it whispered, sounding closer.

/Who's there?/ Bumblebee whirred, his voice closer still, but very far away as well.

"Bee, it's all right."the voice said.

It was still whispering, but Bumblebee could tell who it was now.

/Ratchet/

Bumblebee's voice sounded about right now. It sounded strangly weak though. What had happened? His processor was very foggy, he couldn't think straight. The darkness was fading, it went from pitch black to a dark gray, then to a light gray. The warmth was leaving as well, becoming colder and colder by the second. The soft gray was now a dirty white, and that too changed to a pure, blinding light.

"Bumblebee?"Ratchet said in the light.

/R-Ratchet?/

The light snapped away, like it had been switched off. Bumblebee's optics spun a bit, trying to adjust to the sudden change. Red, white, blue and green figures formed, and melted into four separate beings.

"He's waking up."Ratchet said outloud.

"Be gentle."Optimus' voice said.

Bumblebee whirred slightly as everything finally became clear. He arched up slightly before falling back.

"Take it easy."Ratchet said. "Mind telling us what you were thinking?"Ratchet asked, his voice coming out harsher than he intendid.

"Easy, Ratchet."Optimus said, laying a hand on the white and red shoulder.

/W-what happened?/Bumblebee whirred weakly, his processor still foggy.

"Bee, you-"Optimus started.

He stopped when Bumblebee's optics widened. He whirred in agony as he remembered what he had done. He placed a hand over his optics, looking away from everybot in the room.

"Bumblebee, why?"Arcee asked, he voice sounding broken.

Bumblebee didn't answer. He simply let out another wordless wail.

"If something was bothering you, ya' could have talked."Bulkhead said.

/Could I?/ Bumblebee asked, his voice sharp.

"Of course."Ratchet said, trying to make his oen voice gentle, and making halfway.

/Could I?/Bumblebee repeated harshly. His optics spun as he narrowed them./Who could I have talked to?/

"Anyone of us."Arcee said."Me, or Bulkhead, Optimus, or Ratchet, even one of the humans if you wanted."

/Really?/Bumblebee asked in a taunting whirr./Or would you have been too busy?/

"When am I 'too busy'?"Arcee asked.

/How about when you go scouting, or go out with Jack, or go out for a drive, or go on a recon mission and then come back and go to bed?/Bumblebee asked.

"You could have come to me."Bulkhead said.

/No/Bumblebee whirred./You're busy too. Always practicing, or going out to concerts and demolition derbys, or just going out with Miko/

"What about Ratchet and Optimus?"Arcee asked."One of them are are always on base."

/Ratchet?/Bumblebee whirred in scorn./He would scoff and then talk about how busy he is fixing things around here, or start lecturing about some odd thing or another/

"Optimus then."Ratchet said, knowing that he had acted like that on many occasions in the past.

Bumblebee turned his optics to look at the tall mech. Optimus looked back at him, waiting for Bumblebee's judgement.

/Optimus is.../Bumblebee stopped./He's Optimus...I-I don't know. It wouldn't feel right/

Optimus understood, though it did hurt a bit that his rank intimidated the others. He was the leader. His soilders should not be afraid to come to him if they needed help, even if it just meant they needed to talk or hear an encouradging word.

The other Autobot's remained silent as well. Bumblebee was right to a certain extant. They all were rather busy.

"Of cource we're busy."Arcee said."This is a war we're in. Not much time to just kick back."

Bumblebee nodded, looking away.

"You still could have said something."Bulkhead said.

"That does not matter now."Optimus said."We have seen the error of our ways, but there is nothing we can do to change the past." he softened as he turned back to the youngling."We are hear now, and we are listening."

Bumblebee narrowed his optics again. He looked away from all of them.

"Bumbelebee, please. If we are to help you, you must speak."Ratchet said.

/No/Bumblebee whirred, still not facing them./It's too late/

"It's never too late."Optimus said.

/For me it is/Bumblebee said, his voice breaking.

The moniter on the wall started to beep rapidly.

"Scrap."Ratchet mumbled."Everyone out. Now."

"Why?"Arcee asked.

"His spark's still weak. He's angry, so his rate went up. He needs to calm down before he gives himself a spark attack."

The others left the med-bay as Ratchet had instructed.

"Why, Bumblebee?"Ratchet asked gently.

Bumblebee remained silent.

"Why? Why did you do this?"Ratchet asked.

He was met with the deafening silence. Ratchet wanted to yell and scream at the youngling. To hit him in the side of the helm with his wrench, knock some sense into him. He couldn't though, he had to go about this another way.

"Did you not think this through?"Ratchet asked.

/Of course/ Bumblebee replied, but then fell silent again.

"No. You did not."Ratchet sighed."I can tell that you do not care about what we think of you. But did you really think this through?"

/Yes/Bumblebee said.

"No. If you did, then you would have thought about Raf."

/Raf?/Bumblebee whirred, thinking about the small human for the first time since he started to plan his death.

"Yes. Rafael, you charge, your partner, your friend."Ratchet said, saying each segment slowly to make a point. "Did you not think about how he would feel if you were gone?"

Bumblebee looked away, he hadn't thought about that at all. He hadn't even thought about what the other members of Team Prime would think when they found his gray, offlined frame. The thought of it made him sick. Their struken, shocked faces as they looked at his body. Gray except for the blue energon that pooled around him.

Raf, that was another thing. He would be devastated, depressed, sad, lonely, hurt, the list was endless. Bumblebee didn't want to think about his tear stained face if he had succeeded. He shuttered his optics as tears began to weld up.

Ratchet had been watching the youngling as these thoughts filled his processor. He knew that he was starting to make a breakthrough. It was a start, a poor start, but still a start none the less.

"Bumblebee, can you tell me now?"Ratchet asked.

Bumblebee shook his helm, optics still shuttered tight. Blue tears slipped by them anyways, and Bumblebee put a hand over them to try and hide them. Ratchet moved the hand away, and Bumblebee looked up at the medic. He was surprised to see blue streaks on his face as well, and fresh tears forming. Ratchet quickly tried to brush them away, but they were still noticed.

Ratchet was like a father to Bumblebee. He had never stopped to concider how the ageing medic would feel and what he would think if Bumblebee had offlined himself. Ratchet would take it the hardest out of everyone at base. He would be worse then how Bumblebee imagined Raf to be.

/Ratchet, I-I.../Bumblebee choked on his words, the tears falling freely once again.

He sat up on the berth as Ratchet sat down. Ratchet didn't say anything, trying to compose himself. Bumblebee could tell that if the medic tried to talk now, it would come out as sobs. It made Bee feel terrible for what he put him through, and put a hand on the white shoulder.

/Ratchet, I...I have n-no excuse/ Bumblebee said in broken whirrs.

Ratchet looked back at the youngling, his face now covered in tears.

"Bumblebee,"he started in a very broken and shaking voice,"What would I do if I lost you?"

Bumblebee was surprised at this sentence. Ratchet never had said anything like that before. Bumblebee hung his helm, not looking up. Ratchet pulled the younger mech into an embrase, and held it. Bee knew that this was rather awkward for Ratchet, and it only showed him more how much he was wanted. After a few minutes, Ratchet at last broke the embrace.

"You need rest."Ratchet said,standing up and wiping his face off.

/Ratchet, I-/

"You need to rest,Bee. Your systems are very depleated. I'm going to ask you about them later. If you want to talk, it will have to be then. I promice, I'll listen and won't lecture."

With that the medic turned and left. Bumblebee heard the others aske what happened.

"None of your business."came the sharp reply.

Bumblebee heard Ratchet's footsteps go across the base, and then the opening and closing of the medic's quarters. Ratchet had a very distinct foot noise. His pedes would go across the ground rather quietly for a mech his size, but made a small shuffling noise. An old injury from his younglinghood he had said, made him shuffle a bit.

The medic's door was just as unique as the medic's footsteps. It would open a little more then halfway before squeaking. Then it would continue to open silently before squeaking once more. Bumblebee knew these noises well, as he had listened to and for them when he had trouble and when he couldn't sleep.

/I'm sorry/ Bumblebee whirred sadly as his optics closed, and he fell into recharge


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 Trying to Breakthrough

Bumblebee woke up in med-bay the next day. It took him a moment to remember what had happened. He was ashamed of what he had done, and wished that he could just dissapear. He felt better, sore and ashamed, but better. Ratchet came in.

"I see that you are awake."Ratchet mused, checking the Urbana's vitals.

He shook his helm. There was and had been so much damage to the frame. Self inflicted damage. The spark had taken it the worse. It was very weak and irregular, and Ratchet knew that there was little he could do for it.

"Bumblebee, are you ready to talk?"Ratchet asked.

/No/came the reply. /There is nothing that needs to be said/

"Bumblebee."Ratchet said,rather sharply."Did nothing I say yesterday get through to you? Did our embrase mean nothing to you?"

/Ratchet/Bumblebee pleaded./I-I was wrong, can't we just leave it at that?/

"No."Ratchet answered."If you don't speak it will only eat at you like a virus, and possibly..." Ratchet paused. "Possibly make you even repeat your actions."

/That won't happen again/Bumblebee said./I snapped, and I'm sorry. There, see? Everything's all right now/

"Bumblebee, you cannot avoid this. If you need time, I'll give you time. But you will talk at some point. You can't take another attempt. Your spark won't be able to handle it."Ratchet said. He paused for another moment before softly adding. "I won't be able to handle it."

Bumblebee vented softly as he closed his optics and turned away. He hated how he had made Ratchet feel. He was not looking foward to when he would be released and had to confront the others. Confront Raf.

/When can I get out of here?/Bumblebee asked,trying to change the subject.

Ratchet vented."Today, but you are not to leave the base, nor are you to be alone at any point."

Bumblebee sighed in an irritated way. He understood why he wanted that, he probably had Optimus agree to it as well. He sat up, as Ratchet had stopped scanning him and had detached the I.V. drip from his servo. It hurt to stand on his pedes; it hurt to move his servos. It hurt to move in any way, and it hurt when his spark beat. What hurt the most,though, was the fact that they no longer trusted him. He took a deep breath before going into the main hangar. He could feel every optic on him.

/H-hey.../he said, trying to look happy for them, but failing miserebly.

His entire frame slumped foward, and his doorwings drooped. He went past the silent others and towards his berthroom. He tried to type in the 'open' code, but it wouldn't let him.

'Acess Denied'

He tried it again, thinking that maybe he had pushed a wrong button.

'Acess Denied'

Bumblebee growled at the device for a moment before spinning around to head back to the hangar. He nearly smacked into Optimus.

/S-sorry/Bumblebee buzzed.

"I regret having to lock you out of your own room."Optimus said."A necissary safety precaution, though. If you need something from in there, one of us will open the door for you."

Bumblebee simply nodded, not looking up as his pedes and the floor seemed very interesting at that moment. Optimus continued.

"You may be wondering where you are to recharge."Optimus said, hoping to get the usually talkative yellow mech to say something. As he said nothing, Optimus answered his own statement. "You will be recharging with either me or Ratchet."

Bumblebee looked up at that. He looked shocked, almost upset at the arrangements.

"It's for your own safety,Bee."Optimus said gently."I know you would rather be with Bulkhead, or even Arcee, but you must be with somebody who is able to restain you if..."

/I know/Bumblebee whirred, almost angry./If I try something stupid again/

"Bumblebee, you were not and are not stupid."Optimus said."You were confused and need help. You need to voice your problems, not act upon them."

/Not much of a voice/Bumblebee mumbled.

Optimus simply vented."We are here if you need to talk."

With that, the tall red and blue mech turned away. Bumblebee shifted on his pedes before following. Bulkhead and Arcee had left. The childen needed to be picked up from school. That left Bumblebee alone with Ratchet and Optimus for almost 20 silent, awkward minutes. The rumbling of engines brought a slight relief to the yellow mech.

"Bee!"Raf's voice called out in immence relief as he lept from Bulkhead's back seat."I was so worried. What happened?"

Bumblebee seemed to freeze. What was he to say? 'Nothing much, just decided to commit suicide. Failed miserbaly, have some long term complications...but everything's fine now!' That just didn't sound right. Saying, 'Nothing' would just raise more questions and worry.

/I-I.../Bumblebee started./Was foolish/

"You're not a fool, Bee!"Raf said.

/In this case, I was/Bumblebee said./Enough about me. Want to go for a drive?/

"Sure!"Raf said.

"I don't think a drive's such a good idea."Arcee said, tranforming to her robot mode.

"Why not?"Bulkhead asked.

"Bee might decide that he wants to drive off the road."Arcee said, almost harshly.

Bee's optics squinted into anngry slits./I would not. Especially with Raf/

"So you'll wait until you take him home."Arcee said.

"Arcee."Optimus said, his voice gently yet warning her to stand down.

"What if I went with him?"Bulkhead asked, earning a dissapointed beep from Bumblebee.

"All six of us could go!"Miko suggested.

"No."Arcee said. "I'd rather go with somebot who's in their right mind."she said, looking hard at Bee.

/I am in my right mind/Bumblebee beeped angerly back.

"Are ya' now?"Arcee asked sarcastically."That why ya' tried to kill yourself?"

"What?"Raf asked, his voice small.

"Arcee, that is enough."Optimus said.

"I've delt with enough death."Arcee said, to both Optimus and Bumblebee."Having sombody else kill is onething, but trying to offline yourself is another. It is simple, selfish stupidity, and I take no part in it."

"Nobody asked you to."Ratchet said."Leave him alone for now, Arcee."

Arcee turned and left without another word. Bumblebee had slunk back into a corner. He was seated on the floor, his helm on the wall. He had his servos wrapped around himself as if he was cold, even though he wasn't. Bulkhead slowly went over to him. He shifted uneasily on his pedes for a moment before speaking.

"Hey,uh...you still wanna go for that drive?"Bulkhead asked."Raf looks like he really wants to go with you."

Bumblebee nodded as he stood up./I guess/

He went over to Raf and beeped to him to get in. He then transformed and opened his door. Raf hesitantly got in, afraid that Bumblebee didn't want to go.

/I won't drive off the road if that's what you're worried about/Bumblebee said,somewhat gently, somewhat irritated.

"It's not that."Raf said."Are you sure you want to go?"

/I'm sure. Hop in/Bumblebee said, trying to chirp happily.

Raf hopped in as Miko got into a transformed Bulkhead. Bulkhead took the lead as Bumblebee followed behind.

"Bee..."Raf started after they had driven in silence for a few minutes."What's going on? Why were you hurt yesterday?"

Bumblebee vented audibly, enough for Raf to hear anyways./Raf... I did it to myself/

"I know that."Raf said."Why did you do it though? Did I do something wrong? Did I upset you? If I did, I'm sorry."Raf said, hanging his head.

Bumblebee nearly screeched to a stop before remembering how dangerous it was to suddenly stop in the middle of the road.

/N-no! Raf/Bumblebee said gently. /It's not your fault at all. I-I just.../

Raf pat Bumblebee's dashboard."It's all right."Raf said."You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. Or your not ready."

/Thanks/Bee whirred. He checked his chronometer./I should get you home. It's almost past your curfew/

"All right."Raf agreed.

:Bulkhead: Bumblebee commed.

:Yeah, Bee?:

:I've gotta take Raf home:

:All right. I'll take Miko home and meet you on the way back:

:All right:Bumblebee whirred.

He hated having to be watched constantly. He felt and knew that he was a burden to the others. He beeped a cheerful farewell to his charge as Raf hopped out and waived to him. Bumblebee honked twice as he drove away.

Once he was away from the house, he vented deeply. How could Raf have blamed himself for what he had done. It wasn't Rafael's fault that he had snapped. It wasn't Raf's fault that he had taken a blade to his frame. It was nobody's fault but his own. Nobody's fault but the yellow Urbana 500's who was driving up this desert road.

"Hey."a voice called out behind him.

/Hey, Bulk/Bee whirred back.

The two drove for a few minutes in silence. There was no reason to break it, but Bulkhead found a way.

"Um, Bee? Don't look now, but we've got company."Bulkhead's voice said.

Bumblebee adjusted his rear view mirrors to look at the sky. Three figures were flying above.

/Great./Bee whirred./Cons/


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7 Fight and Realization

Bumblebee and Bulkhead both transformed at the same time. Both were battle ready, as Bulkhead had his wrecking balls and Bee his blasters. It didn't faze him that those blasters had been close to being the tools of his own destruction.

"Bee."Bulkhead said, breaking his thoughts."Take it easy."

/I will, but not on the 'Cons/

Bulkhead nodded as the first blasts hit the ground around them, spraying sand and debris all around them. Bulkhead and Bumblebee flipped separate ways to avoid getting hit. Bumblebee couldn't stop a flinch as he landed on his sore servos and felt a jolt through his spark. He brushed it off though, and lept to his equally sore pedes.

Three Decepticon flyers had landed before them, and were shooting at them. Their visored faces were emotionless, and their body language showed neither fear or dominance. They fired nonstop at the two Autobots. Bulkhead rushed one and smacked it away with his wrecking balls as the other two went after the yellow youngling.

"Fraggin' 'Con!"Bulkhead shouted, body slamming the thin bot.

Bumblebee was having a harder time with his 'Cons. He kept getting painful jolts through his spark, and was fighting to stay concious. He fired rather blindly at the two Decepticons, and was rather surprised as one of them fell. Bumblebee couldn't tell if he was offlined or just injured. He secretly hoped that he was just injured, he hated killing. He hated all the spilled energon that stained his young hands.

Bumblebee gasped, clutching his spark chamber. It felt like he had been shot, but there was no energon blood. He sank to his pedes as the photon charges continued to spray sand, dirt, and debris all around him. They were getting closer and closer, but suddenly they stopped. The Decepticon wasn't moving or firing. He pointed his canon right at the yellow mech. Bumblebee's optics filled with fear as he saw the tip of the weapon light up and begin to charge. The trigger was pulled, and smashed out of the way. Bumblebee swayed on his pedes as he saw a flash of green rush towards the dark 'Con, and smash him to pieces. Soon the fight ended, and Bulkhead went towards the trembling youngling.

"Bee, are you all right?"Bulkhead asked.

Bumblebee clutched his spark chamber hard as another pain hit him. He nearly fell foward, but the big ex-wrecker retarded his desent.

"Easy. Hold on."his voice came. It sounded so far away.

Bumblebee could hear him calling for a ground bridge. Everything was fading when a blinding light filled the bare desert. A orange and white mech, a red and blue mech, and a blue femme rushed from it. Arcee and Optimus took guard as Ratchet went to Bumblebee. Bulkhead was still holding Bumblebee who clutched his chest. His optics were half off, a sign that he was barely holding on.

"Ratchet, what's wrong with him?"Bulkhead asked, as a tremor went through Bumblebee and his doorwings twitched twice.

"He's having a spark attack."Ratchet said in much serious.

"What?"Arcee asked in a shocked voice. "He's too young."

"His spark was weakened from his...attempt."Ratchet said."He needs to get to the med-bay, immediatly."

"Good going, Bee."Arcee hissed.

"That's enough, Arcee."Optimus said."I understand that what Bumblebee attempted to do hurt you, but that is no reason to lash out at him."

Arcee said nothing as Bulkhead scooped up the youngling and made his way into the bridge. Ratchet was right next to him, then Arcee and finally Optimus entered. The bridge swirrled closed, whooshing sand about for a moment before dissapearing unnoticed.

Bulkhead had laid the shaking youngling in the medical berth. He whirred weakly, but nothing was made out of his small clicks and chirrups. His optics faded a bit darker.

"It's all right."Bulkhead said, patting the yellow hand before being pushed out by Ratchet.

OoOoOoOoO

Bumblebee's optics came back online. He looked about the room groggily.

/W-what-/

"You're awake."Ratchet said.

/I think s-so/ Bumblebee said. /What happened?/

"You had a spark attack."Ratchet said bluntly.

/Oh/Bumblebee whirred, doorwings drooping. /It's all my fault/

"Yes, it is."Ratchet said.

/I'm sorry, Ratchet/Bumblebee whirred, not making optic contact.

"You shouldn't be sorry to me."Ratchet said."You all ready apologized to me. Who you should be apologizing to are Optimus, Bulkhead, and Arcee. Especially Arcee."

Bumblebee nodded./Can I get up?/

Ratchet hesitated. "Fine. But you are not leaving the base in any way, shape, or form."

/Got it/ Bumblebee said, struggling to his pedes.

The room spun for a moment, but soon the light-healmed feeling left. He slowly made his way out to the main hangar. He didn't look up as he went towards his berthroom. He wanted some time alone, to think. He tried it, only to find it locked. Buzzing with irritation, he went away. He saw that Bulkhead's door was open, and the wrecker sat on his berth, looking at an old data pad. He looked up to see Bumblebee.

"Hey, Bee."Bulkhead said. "Looking better."

/Thanks/Bumblebee said.

Bulkhead just shrugged.

/No, I mean thanks/Bumblebee said./That 'Con, he would have-/s hudeer went up his back as he thought about that red cannon tip pointed at him.

"Don't worry about it."Bulkhead said."You would have done the same for me. I couldn't stand to see you offline."

/I don't wanna offline either/Bumblebee said.

"Glad you feel that way."Bulkhead said with a chuckle.

/I-I should...apologize/Bumbelbee said, looking at the floor.

"For what?"Bulkhead asked.

/For what I put you through/Bumblebee whirred, still looking down at his pedes.

"Don't worry about that either, Bee."Bulkhead said." You snapped. A don't think anybot would blame you for that."

Bumblebee nodded a 'thanks'. He started to leave, but a question plauged his mind. He stopped and looked back for a second. With a robotic sigh he turned back.

/Bulk...can I ,uh, ask you something?/

"Sure, Bee, anything."Bulkhead said, setting his data-pad aside.

/What's it.../Bumblebee started hesitatntly./What's it like to.../

"To what, Bee?"Bulkhead asked.

/To have a-a family?/Bumblebee said at last.

The question struck Bulkhead rather hard.

"A family?"Bulkhead asked.

/Yeah/Bumbelbee said./You know what? Never mind. It was a stupid question/

"No, Bee."Bulkhead said. He pat the berth beside him. "Sit down."

Bumblebee did so, although he looked a bit uncomfortable. Bulkhead looked at the youngling a moment, in thought.

"I guess a family is like what we have here on base."Bulkhead started. "Arcee is like your older sister, I'm your older brother, and Optimus is like the father...I guess."

/What does that make Ratcher?/Bumblebee asked.

Bulkhead didn't hesitate to answer. "He's the scary, abusive uncle."

Bumblebee chuckled at that. /I guess/

Bulkheas laughed a bit."All right?"

/Yep, thanks/

"No problem."Bulkhead said.

Bumblebee then left the room. He thought about what Bulkhead had said about Team Prime being a family, but it still left him with questions. He knew what a family was like, but what he really wanted to know was what it felt like to have a real family. He vented as he went into the main hangar. Maybe he would ask somebody else later. Maybe not, but it was a slim chance that he would.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8 Nightmares

Autor's Notes: Optimus may seem a bit lax and out of character, but he rasied Bee so he should be able to kick back in his own room. As yo umay have noticed the 'OoOoOoOoO's show a new scene. In this chapter there will be a section marked 'D0D0D0D0D'. It will be showing a dream. It should be obvious when it switches back to real life. Thank you. Suggest will and are appreciated!

Optimus turned from the moniter. His chronometer was telling him that it was very late, and his HUD was telling him that he needed to recharge. He noticed that Bulkhead and Arcee had retired hours ago, and all that were left was Ratchet and Bumblebee. This rather surprised Optimus. Bumblebee was still a youngling, and would be equivalent to that of a human 'teenager', about Jack's age. He would get tired easily, and liked to sleep in on weekends. He also needed more recharge then the others, as he was still growing.

"Bumblebee, why are you not in recharge?"Optimus asked.

/I'm locked out of my room, remember?/Bumblebee said, athough it was not intented in a mean or sarcastic tone at all. It was said in a voice that was simply stating a fact.

Optimus nodded, remembering how he had tyrped in the lock code himself. He felt rather bad for doing it, but it had to be done. He had said that the youngling would have to slep with either himself or Ratchet.

"Who would you rather recharge with?"Optimus asked.

/I really don't care/Bumblebee said, again just stating. /Whatever you think is best/

Optimus looked at Ratchet a moment. While Ratchet would probably be able to restrain the youngling if he had another attempt or 'fit', but Ratchet wasn't the kind of bot who liked his personal space messed with. He probably wouldn't object though.

"Ratchet."Optimus started."What do you think would be the best arrangements?"

"Probably with you."Ratchet said."You're bigger, stronger, and gentler then I would be. Also, I;m a heavy recharger."

"I am not."Optimus said, seeing where Ratchet was going with this conversation. "Bumblebee, would you mind recharging in my berthroom?"

Bumblebee just shrugged a shoulder. /Whatever you think is best/

Optimus gave a small nod. "All right then. I will be retiring now, you are free to follow."

/Okay/ Bumblebee buzzed, stifiling a yawn.

He followed the tall red mech like a duckling. To his surprise, Optimus stopped before Bumblebee's own berthroom. The yellow mech looked away as a sign of respect as Optimus started to type in the 'open' code.

/What are you doing?/

"I am certain that there are certain things that you will be needing."Optimus said.

Bumblebee gave a quick nod and a buzz of gratitude as he went inside. There was really only one thing he really wanted. He went over to the berth and pulled it out from under it. It was a very worn, very old, somewhat faded blanket. It was a bit small for the yellow mech, but fit him perfectly if he curled up. He could feel his faceplates warming up as he went back to Optimus' side. He knew that Optimus knew what it was.

Optimus wasn't a bit surprised at what the youngling had gotten. A blanket from his sparklinghood. Optimus himself had given it to the sparkling the soon after he had been found. Optimus had raised Bumblebee himself since then, as his own son. Bumblebee had always used his blanket. At first it never left his side, He would drag it about behind him wherever he went until it became dreadfully dirty. The blue and yellow blanket would have to be torn from him just to be cleaned. As he grew older, he had used it less and less until it was only used in recharge. Optimus remebered how Bee had snuggled with it in his berth while he recovering from his terrible mission in Tyger Pax. The mission that Megatron had taken his voice box from him, and torchured him mercilessly.

"Is that all?"Optimus asked.

Bumblebee gave a quick nod, shifting from pede to pede as Optimus locked his berthroom door again. He again followed the larger mech until Optimus' berthroom was reached. Optimus opened it, and stepped inside and tured the light on. Bumblebee stepped inside quickly as Optimus closed the door once again.

Optimus berthroom was not very plain or bare, but not full and gaudy. There was a berth in the corner, and a desk and chair like each berthroom on base had. There was a shelf on the far corner, which contained a few reading data-pads, a chrystal from the city of Praxus, and a picture. Bumblebee took a step closer to see it. The closer examination showed it to be a picture of Optimus holding Bumblebee as a sparkling. Bumblebee with his blue and yellow blanket and without his 'buzz box'. He looked away, feeling bad for what he had done all over again.

He hung his helm, trying to keep from crying. Optimus had picture of him in his own berthroom, proving just how much he really cared for the yellow mech. He had always been a sire figure to the youngling. He had raised him himself, nursed him when he fell ill or became injured, played with him when he had found the time, and been there when he needed to. It must have hurt Optimus badly when Bumblebee had said he couldn't talk to the CO.

"Do you wish to share the berth?"Optimus asked, laying down and patting the space next to him.

Bumblebee shook his helm. /No, it's okay./

He lay down in a corner of the room.

"Bee, it's cold on the floor. I don't mind sharing the berth."Optimus said, sliding his face mask back to get more comfortable. _It would be just like old times. Back when you were a sparkling._ He thought to himself.

/Really, it's okay/Bumblebee said with a yawn.

"All right."Optimus said, venting out."If you get cold though, feel free to just climb in."

Bumblebee let out a little giggle at that. He curled up on his side and covered himself with his blanket. He snuggled into it, seeking it's comfort. He soon offlined his optics, and fell into recharge.

D0D0D0D0D

Bumblebee found it hard to move. He was wrapped up in something soft and green. It was a blanket, but not his 'blanket'. It was familiar though. He squirmed a bit until his servo was free. He was shocked and let out a crow. It was so tiny, like a sparkling's. Wait...had he...'crowed'? That sound was impossible to make with a 'buzz box'. He took his free servo and touched his face. He felt a small mouth, free from devices.

"Hey, little guy."a pink femme said, cooing over him.

She leaned over what seemed to be bars and scooped him up. The blanket fell enough to free his second servo. He looked behind him to see that he had been laying in a crib. The room was full of cribs, two long rows of them to be exact. Bumblebee remembered where he was now. He was at the Sparkling Center, and this was one of his caretakers. He snuggled into her warm, lemonade pink chasis. A bottle was lifted to his lips, and he soon began to drink his fill of the warm, sweet energon.

The screams of multiple femmes disurpted his meal. Loud explosions threatened to blow his audios, and the room and ground shook like seismatic activity was taking place. There were crys of many sparklings from all over, and in every room. More petrified screams, guns and conon blasts, and then silence.

The pink femme had remiained strangle calm. She had wrapped him up tightly in the blanket, until it had covered everything, even his face. A small slit in the blanket allowed him to see that she was shushing him and gently laying him under one of the cribs. As she stood up and walked away, Bumblebee could see gray pedes next to hers. A strangled cry was heard, and then her entiry frame was seen as she fell to the ground, covered in her own blue blood.

The gray pedes came closer and closer until a face bent down. His red abtics were ablaze with hate and anger. A sharp gray hand reached towards him. The wrapped around his tiny helm, and lifted him into the air. Bumblebee started to kick.

OoOoOoOoO

Bang. Bang. Bang.

/No.../Bumblebee whirred in his recharge.

Optimus lept from his berth. He looked about the dark room.

Bang! Bang! Bang!

/N-no!/Bumblebee shouted.

He was kicking the desk, thrashing about in recharge. Optimus quickly went over to him and started to shake him.

"Bumblebee, you are all right."Optimus said gently."Wake up."

The yellow youngling did not wake up though, and continued to cry out and thrash about. Optimus pulled him away from the desk a bit, to keep him from kicking it again. Another thud ,though, filled the room.

"Optimus? What's going on?"Ratchet's voice called through the door.

"Everything is all right. Bumblebee is having a bad dream cycle. Go back to sleep, old friend."Optius called back, still shaking the yellow bot a bit.

Ratchet grunted. He was heard again.

"Go back to your berths! It's late."

Optimus turned his attention back to the youngling. He had calmed down a bit, though he was now shaking.

D0D0D0D0D0D

Megatron held the youngling before his face.

"To think, you would have probably grown up to be an Autobot. You would have grown, to be my enemy."Mehatron growled."I very well cannot have that, can I?"

The sparkling Bee cowared in fear. The next thing he know, he was being thrown against the wall. He looked up to see Megatron's canons aimed right at him. Their tips began to glow a deep purple as they started to charge up. Megatron was taking his time, savoring every moment as he defeated the last sparkling on Cybertron.

The blast came and Bumblebee closed his optics. No pain seared through his body though, he was not reunited with his creators. He opened his optics to find himself unharmed. There was a clash, and he turned his attention away from his frame.

A red and blue mech was deep in a battle with Megatron. Megatron's shoulder smoked a bit and leaked a good deal of energon. Optimus quickly shoved his blade through Megatron's chasis, and the gray mech fell to the ground. It was impossible to tell if he was offline, as his metal was all ready gray. Optimus turned and looked at the sparkling. It shook and cried in pain and fear.

Bumblebee felt himself being lifted, and his tears being wiped away. He looked up into soft optics looking back at him.

"You're all right, little one."he said softly to the yellow sparkling as he slid back his battle mask.

Suddenly, Optimus' face scrunched up slightly in pain, and he gasped. Megatron was behind him, his dark claws wrapping around his blue shoulder. With his other hand, Megatron had succeded in shoving his own blade through Optimus' spark chamber. He began to lose his grip on the yellow sparkling, and his balance as well. Optimus fell foward, letting go of the sparkling completely. Bumblebee rolled to the side, and looked at optimus as his optics flickered their last, and closed for all eternity. Bumblebee didn't cry out, nor did he show any fear as the very sun darkened to an almost pitch black.

Suddenlt, the light returned. It was a bright, artificail light that flooded Bumblebee's they adjusted, the figure of Megatron towering over him, canons pointed at him, cam into view. Bumblebee saw that he was no longer a sparkling, but himself again. His hands were tied behind with a pair of cuffs. Optimus still lay beside him. Optimus' cold, offlined shell anyways. Bumblebee looked up again as the canons began to glow purple and charge to life.

"Any last words, scout?"Megatron hissed.

He left Bumblebee no time to reply as the trigger was pulled.

OoOoOoOoO

Bumblebee had started to thrash again. Suddenly, he jumped foward with a shout.

/Optimus!/

"Bee. I'm right here."Optimus said."It was only a bad dream cycle."

To his surprise, Bumblebee started to cry. Optimus held him close to his chasis, letting him cry. Bumblebee hald onto his armour, as if he let go Optimus would dissapear.

"Bee, what's wrong? What was it about?"Optimus asked.

/I-It was the youth centers/Bumblebee said, calming a bit./It was the same way it happened... almost/

"What happened that altered the past?"Optimus asked, still holding him.

/Megatron looked like he was killed instead of retreating/Bumblebee said, not looking up from the floor.

"Was that all?"Optimus asked, knowing that it was not.

/N-no.../Bumblebee said./He...he woke up and he.../Bumblebee's voice hitched./He killed you, and then me/

Optimus understood now as he pulled Bumbelebee closer to him. "It's all right. I'm right here, as are you."

Bumblebee nodded. He broke the embrase./I-I didn't mean to wake you.../

"It's all right."Optimus said."Why don't you recharge with me though."

Bumblebee looked at him a moment, wanting to say yes, but not wanting to at the same time. Optimus knew that he didn't want to appear a coward if he accepted.

"This floor is colder then I thought."Optimus added.

/Are you sure?/

"There's pleanty of room."Optimus said with a small chuckle as he got up from the floor.

Bumblebee vented. /All right/

Optimus lay back down on the berth. Bumblebee hesitated a moment before laying down as well. He turned off his optics, Bumblebee's own way of shuttering them. Optimus shuttered his own optics. He knew that the youngling wasn't asleep though. Something felt off about the way Bumblebee was trying to sleep. Optimus suddenly knew and slowly sat up and slid off of the edge of the berth. Bumblebee' pretended to be alseep, hoping that Optimus didn't want to 'talk'.

He felt something soft and warm being placed on his shoulders and drapped on his doorwings. Optimus had gotten his blanket from the floor, knowing that it helped him recharge. Bumblebee felt recharge begin to take over him as Optimus lay back down besides him.

D0D0D0D0D

"Tell me, scout, where is Optimus Prime's new base located?" the voice of evil growled at Bumblebee.

"I-I'll never tell you."Bumblebee said.

He was chained to the ceiling, 'Cons surrounding him. Megatron stood right in front of him. He was at Tyger Pax, and had o 'buzz box'. He had no need for one, as he could speak. Usually he was a very talkative youngling, but now he was trying to remain silent.

"Ugh."he groaned a bit as sharp digits began to claw at him again.

He had been here for hours. Tortured none stop for Primus knows how long.

"This is your final warning,Autobot."Megatron growled."Tell me where your leaders base is now, or I will silency you for eternity."

"Do your worst, Con."Bumblebee spat at the Decepticon warlord."I-I'll never tell you anything."

Megatron said nothing as he raised a hand in the air. With a quick thrust, Bumblebee's optics widened in great pain. Megatron's hand was in his throat, crunching whatever he could. Bumblebee's mouth opened in a silent scream as Megatron pulled his hands out, clutching a small box and frayed wires. Bumblebee's voice box sat in his hand, covered in energon. He cast it aside with a look of disgust.

"What do you wish done with him, Lord Megatron?"a nearby Vehicon asked.

With a battle cry, Megatron slashed the chains that held Bumblebee with the blades that extended from his wrists. Bumblebee fell to the ground in a pool of his own energon. Megatron glanced him over once. He was covered in gashes and his own energon blood, and now without his voice box.

"Leave him."Megatron said."He's as good as dead, anyways."

Megatron transformed and took off, followed by his flyers. Bumblebee's optics slowly shuttered closed, and darkness over coma him.

OoOoOoOoO

Bumblebee gasped and jumped foward panting. He was dreanched in a cold sweat or condesation.

"Bumblebee?"Optimus mumblebed, unshuttering his optics a bit."Are you all right."

/I'm fine/Bumblebee said, surprised at how calm his vocie was.

"Bee, you're shaking."Optimus said, sitting up."Did you have another nightmare?"

Bumblebee nodded.

"What about?"

/Tyger Pax/

"Was this dream altered as well?"Optimus asked.

/No. It was the same way it happened/

Optimus nodded."Why does it not seam to bother you as much as the other one?"

/I'm used to it/Bumblebee said with a shrug. /Have it every night/

"Why have you not told anyone?"Optimus asked as Bumblebee still trembled a bit.

/I'm used to it/

Optimus nodded. He understood. He had frequent dreams of that sort as well.

"Do you want to go back to recharge?"Optimus asked.

/You can/came the reply.

"Bee, come with me."Optimus said, getting up.

/What?/Bee started./Why? You don't need to get up/

"It's all right, Bumblebee."Optimus said, all ready opening the door.

Bumblebee vented before getting up and following Optimus. Optimus went straight to the energon vault. He stepped inside and went deep into it. He returned a few moments later with two energon cubes.

"Bumblebee."Optimus said, serious."In doing this, I am showing that I trust you greatly. I do not want to see you doing this on your own accord."

/Yes, sir/Bumblebee said, wondering what Optimus was doing.

Optimus then went into the sligtly dark main hanger and sat down on a large crate. Bumblebee did the same. Optimus handed a cube to Bumblebee, who beeped a thanks. Optimus took a sip of his own energon as Bumblebee did the same. A choking noise came from the yellow mech as he coughed a bit. Optimus couldn't hold back a chuckle.

"Now I know that you have never drinken before."Optimus said, taking anouther sip.

/Drinken?/Bumblebee asked./This is High Grade?/

Optimus nodded.

/I thought-/

"You are too young still."Optimus said."By old Cybertronian law, anyways. I don't think this one cube will hurt you."

/Kinda strong.../Bumblebee mused, taking a small sip.

Optimus chuckled again."Strong? This is my own grade, and a very weak batch I must say. If you want something strong, you should try Ratchet's brew."

/Ratchet makes it too?/

Optimus gave a nod as he took yet another sip of his own cube. "Come to think of it, the only mech who can drink that kind is Ratchet himself."

Bumblebee couldn't hold back a snicker. /Not even you can drink Ratchet's High Grade?/

"No, he can't."

"Ratchet."Optimus said, turning."Did we wake you, old friend?"

"No."Ratchet said simply.

He sat down on a thrid crate, a cube of High Grade as well. "What were you talking about before I inturrupted?"

"You inturrupted nothing."Optimus said."Merely added to the conversation."

Ratchet took a long sip from his cube. "You know what this reminds me of?"

/What?/

"Back on Cybertron, just hanging out with the mechs and enjoying a cube or two of High Grade." Ratchet said.

"If memory serves me correct, Ratchet,"Optimus started."You usually had more then 'a cube or two'."

Ratchet simply rolled his optics, taking another sip of his grade. Bumblebee did so to. He found the flavour rather good now, and not so sharp and biting. It was making him relaxed, but not drunk or overcharged.

/What was Cybertron like?/Bumblebee suddenly asked.

"What do you mean? You were born on Cybertron, and raised there until a few years ago."Ratchet said.

/I mean before the war/Bumblebee said.

Optimus nodded in understanding. "Cybertron was like Earth in many ways."

"But different in just as many ways."Ratchet added."Take the city of Praxus."

/Where? I think I've read of it before/

"You should know more about Praxus then you do."Ratchet said."Although it's no fault of your own that you don't."

Bumblebee tilted his helm to the side. Why should he know more about this Cybertronian city?

"You yourself are a Praxian."Optimus said.

/Me?/

"Of course."Ratchet said."You have doorsings, don't you?"

Bumblebee looked behind him, as if to check if he did. He twitched them a few times.

/What was Praxus like?/

Ratchet took a sip of his cube as Optimus started to explain.

"It was one of Cybertron's most populous citys next to Iacon."Optimus said."The inhabitants there were all well-bred, well-mannered, strict, and-"

"Stuck up."Ratchet finished.

"Ratchet."

"It's true! It was one of the strictest citys on Cybertron."Ratchet defended turned to Bumblebee, speaking right to the youngling. "If you didn't follow their rules perfectly, you were shunned from the city."

Optimus nodded, having to agree. "They had a most interesting speach pattern."

"You mean their lack of contractions and emotions?"Ratchet asked."A perfect example of a bot form there is Prowl."

/I remember him/Bumblebee said./He was always strict. Never mean, but kinda cold/

"Praxian."Ratchet said.

Bumblebee thoughtfully took a sip of his High Grade./ I don't think I'd have liked it there/

Optimus shook his helm."Your heritage might be of Praxian, but you strike me more of a Polyhexian."

"Like me and Jazz."Ratchet added.

/Jazz? He was Prowl's friend, wasn't he?/

Ratchet nodded."No two bots could be more different."

"Or closer."Optimus said.

"Optimus, you completely forgot about the Crystal Park in Praxus."Ratchet said.

Ratchet and Optimus continued to talk about different places on Cybertron. Bumblebee listened as closely as he could, drinking in every word. He tried hard, but fatigue was gaining up on him. His helm rested on Optimus' shoulder. Optimus paid him no mind as he and Ratchet continued their discussion a few moment.

"Um, Optimus?"Ratchet started.

"I know."Optimus said.

"You lost your audience."Ratchet said, motioning towards the now sleeping Bee.

"I know."Optimus said again.

"Are you going to wake him and take him back to your room?"Ratchet asked, standing up.

"Take him back to me quarters? Yes. Wake him? No."Optimus said, picking up the youngling.

Ratchet shook his helm at the sight of the bright yellow mech sleeping in the Prime's servos. He could remember a time when Optimus could carry Bee around with him everywhere. Or course, Bumblebee had been a sparkling then.

Optimus grunted a moment as he started to walk. "I do remember when he was alot smaller. He fit much easier in my servos."

Ratchet chuckled as he walked past the two. He opened Optimus' berthroom door for the Prime.

"Thank you, Ratchet." Optimus said as he lay the youngling down on the berth.

Ratchet grunted his acknoledgement before leaving the room, closing the door behind him. With a sigh, Optimus lay down in the berth and fell into recharge himself.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9 Remorse and Remembrance

Author's Note: I would like to say that in the reviews, sombody has reminded me that TFP Bumblebee does NOT blink. I would like to thank them, and I will be doing it the correct way from now on. Thank you again. You know who you are! Also in this chapter there will be a long flashback. To avoid confusion, a flashback will be broken from scene to scene with these markers 'F0F0F0F0F'. It should be obvious when it switches back to normal time. Thank you, and please review!

Bumblebee sloly unlined his optics. Something felt off. He was unusually warm, and squished. Suddenly, he remembered where he was. He was in Optimus Prime's room and berth. He lay still and quiet, as the older mech was still in recharge besides him. After a few long minutes, Bumblebee was debating whether or not to slide out the bottom side of the berth when Optimus started to shift.

/Prime? Are you up?/Bumblebee whirred quietly, just in case.

The Prime did not answer him. Instead, he rolled over in his recharge. He crushed the poor Bee into the wall even more.

/Optimus! Get up!/Bumblebee whirred loudly.

Optimus didn't wake up. He started to move towards Bee again. He rolled right in top of him, unaware of what he was doing. With a mighty push, Bumblebee shoved the larger mech from him. He must have pushed too hard though, for he fell out of the berth with a shout.\

"Bumblebee! What the slag are you-"he stopped, now fully awake. Laughter reached his audios."It's not funny."

/From my point of view, it is/ Bumblebee choked out, falling back onto the berth with laughter.

"So, you find my predicament funny, do you?"Optimus asked.

Bumblebee nodded, now holding his sides with laughter. He took a deep breath to calm down. Suddenly, he screeched out.

/Stop! Stop it!/he choked out between laughs.

Optimus didn't answer him as he continued to tickle the yellow stomach plating. Bumblebee squirmed about, trying to get out of Optimus' grasp and digits, but failed. He wriggled to the side of the berth, screeching with laughter. Optimus was laughing as well now as he continued to tickle the yellow bot.

/Stop! Ple-ease! Sto-Wo-Ahh!/Bumblebee shouted, falling out of the berth.

Optimus laughed a bit harder now. Bumblebee grumbled as he sat up.

/You're right/Bumblebee muttered./It's not funny/

"From my view it is."Optimus chuckled.

He bent down and took Bumblebee's hand and servo and helped him up. Bumblebee got up. The two started to leave the room. Optimus noticed how it had been awhile since Bumblebee had laughed, and really meant it. His cheery,bubbly laughter usued to fill the base on a regular basis, but he had fallen silent in that area recently. Optimus could remember a time when Bumblebee's laughter hadn't been heard, and that was after Tyger Pax. He had nearly lost his yellow youngling then.

Bumblebee was the first in the main hangar. The first bot he saw was a sullen Arcee.

"You're happy today."she said in a voice that showed that she herself was not joyful at all.

Bumblebee's cheery mood began to deflate a bit. He didn't answer her as he walked by her, dorrwings drooped a bit. He watched as she went into the hall and back to her quarters. He looked at Ratchet, as if asking what he should do. Ratchet motioned his helm towards the hall, as if to tell him to follow her. Bumblebee looked at the empty hall again. He vented ad went. He stood befpre Arcee's door. He put a hand up to knock, but couldn't bring himself to do it. He took a deep vent, and forced himself to do it.

"Bumblebee, go away."Arcee said.

/How'd ya' know it was me?/Bumblebee asked.

"Who else could it be?"Arcee asked.

/Please, Arcee, may I come in?/

"No."

Bumblebee decided to say what he needed to say right there through the closed door.

/Arcee, I know I hurt you. I-I'm sorry.I-I never wanted to hurt you or the others. It's just.../

Bumblebee didn't know how to finish. Finishing would mean having to tell why he had tried to do what he did. He really didn't want to tell.

"Just, what?"Arcee asked, her voice closer to the door now.

/I-.../Bumblebee's voice box hitched and cracked.

Arcee was on the other side of the door, right next to it. As no sound came through, she folded her servos across her chasis.

"What? Just what?"she repeated.

/H-have you ever wanted to see s-somebody so much that you would d-do anything to see them? J-just for even five earth minutes?/ Bumblebee asked, his voice sounding like he was crying now.

Arcee thought about those words. "Yeah."she answered."I'd want to see Cliffjumper and Tailgate."

Bumblebee nodded, then remembered that Arcee couldn't see him./Me too/

"You want to see Tailgate and Cliff?"Arcee asked, confused.

/No, my creators. You know, you're lucky/Bumblebee said, his voice still trembling.

The door flew open. Arcee looked angry as she stood there.

"Lucky? You think I'm lucky? Watching one partner offline in front of me, and have another killed behind my back? You call that luck?"Arcee asked, anger lacing her voice as she tried to control herself.

/You had time with them, didn't you?/

"Of course I did, they were my partners."Arcee said, now getting irritated.

/I never got to see my creators. I don't even have a single memory of them, good or bad. You can still think about your partners and the times you had together. Both the good, and the bad/

"Is that why you did it?"Arcee asked, suddenly putting two and two together.

Bumblebee swung his helm a bit, trying to think of the words to say. Fining none, he hung his helm and nodded.

"Bee."Arcee said.

He kept his helm down, trying to hide the fact that he was crying. A tear fell straight to the ground from his large optics, and did not go unnoticed by the blue femme. She went to his side and put a servo around him. Bumblebee's intakes hitched as he tried to brush the tears away quickly.

"Come in here, Bee."Arcee said gently, taking his hand and guiding him into the berthroom.

Arcee's room was sparcley decorated. A trinket here and there, but not much. What really stood out were two pictures that sat on the desk in simple brown frames. One was a picture of Arcee with her first partner, Tailgate. The other was with her and Cliffjumper. Cliff, being the mech he was, was doing a pair of what humans would call 'bunny ears'. Bumblebee remembered the first time he met Cliffjumper. It had been about the same time he had meet Arcee, and right after Tyger Pax. Right after Ratchet had saved his life out on the battle field, and they had moved to their new location on the Planet Earth.

F0F0F0F0F0F

Optimus was rummaging through a crate. They had gotten to their new base very recently. Ony about an earth week ago. It was very quiet as the only bots there were Optimus himself, Ratchet, and Bumblebee.

Optimus vented as he noticed just how quiet it was now, and might always be. Bumblebee had no voice box now. He had no voice. No longer would the chatty little mech go from bot to bot and talk their audios off. No longer would his innocent questions be asked, cheesy jokes be told, or anything ever be said by him in any tounge, be it English or Cybertronian, again.

Optimus turned his attention back to the large crate of necessary items waiting to be unpacked. A familiar item caught his optic. He lifted out a soft, faded, blue and yellow blanket. Bumblebee's sparkling blanket. This would comfort the suffering bot even more.

Optimus left the crate and went into Bumblebee's berthroom. The mech lay on his berth, shaking. His optics were offline. His optics were offline, that made Optimus vent again.

Due to the mutilazition of his face by the Decepticon warlord, Megatron, Ratchet had to completely reconstruct his face. It also had to be rebuilt to make room for a device Ratchet was currently working on. A 'buzz box', so to speak. Bumblebee's shutters had to be removed as they had been damaged, and to make room for the device to connect to his face.

"Bumblebee, are you in recharge?"Optimus asked softly.

The optics flickered for a moment before steadily glowing. They were very weak though. He turned to Optimus and shook his helm slightly.

"Bee, look what I found."Optimus said enticingly as if he had a favorite toy to a young sparkling.

Bumblebee continued to look at him, in pain and feeling very ill. Optimus took the item out from behind his back. The yellow face lit up a bit, his optics spinning slightly in excitement.

"My b-"barely a voice tried to speak, before being cut off by painful, choking, wet coughs.

"Easy."Optimus said, going to his side.

A gurgling noise came from Bumblebee's throat as he tried to roll over. Optimus helped him as energon blood poured from Bumblebee's mouth. He countinued to cough, the blood's metalic taste filling his mouth and burning his throat even more. At last he gasped and lay back, panting a bit as his optics dimmed.

Optimus took the blanket he still had in his hands and drapped it over the shivering mech. It didn't cover alot of him, but it wasn't meant for warmth. The big blanket covering him was meant to warm him. This blanket, this old friend, was meant for one thing and one thing only. Comfort.

Bumblebee looked up at Optimus, hoping that his optics expressed his gratitude. Optimus gave a small nod and pat his yellow hand. He then took his own large hand and slid it over Bumblebee's forehelm. The youngling did not try to escape or flinch away. He leaned into the touch a bit as his helm was pounding. Optimus noted how warm he was, a sign that he was still overheating and overheating badly. He was still fighting numerous infections.

"Get some recharge, Bee."Optimus said gently.

Bumblebee nodded his helm slightly. Optimus left, but left the door wide open. If there was an emergency, they wouldn't have time to fiddle with a door code.

Bumblebee watched as he left before rolling over on his side. His torn voice box left many frayed and bleeding wires. While he recharged, the blood would go down his throat and into his tank, making him sick. If he slept on his side, hopefully some of the blood wouldn't travel to his tank. Ratchet had suggested it, and it had worked a bit. His optics flickered off, and he fell into recharge.

Optimus was in the main hangar with Ratchet. Ratchet was working on a large earth moniter, trying to figure it out.

"Slaggin' human technology."he mumbled under his breath.

"Ratchet, how is Bumblebee's condition?"Optimus asked."I have just been with him, and have seen no change."

"That's because there hasn't been any change."Ratchet vented. "Is he still running a temp.?"

Optimus nodded. He was about to speak again, when beeping came from the moniter.

"I swear, if it's another virus, I'll-"Ratchet stopped, seeing two energy signals on the screen."Optimus."he said, pointing at them.

"Are they of Decepticon origin?"Optimus asked, stepping closer to get a closer look.

Ratchet looked hard at the screen a moment."I don't believe so. They appear to be Autobot."

Optimus pressed a button on the control panel of the moniter.

"This is Optimus Prime. We have seen your signal, and question your alliance."

:This is Cliffjumper. Oh-and Arcee's here with me. We just jumped through a 'Con bridge to get here:

"Are you of Decepticon alliance?"Optimus asked.

:If we are, we got the wrong symbols on us.: Cliffjumope called back.

"Ratchet, is the ground bridge operational?"Optimus asked.

Ratchet vented in irritation."Fraggin' thing put a one Pit of a fight."Ratchet started.

Optimus cut him off by raising a hand. "A simple 'yes' or 'no' will suffice."

"Yes, but not for very long."came the snappy reply.

:Um, hey:Cliff's voice called again. :Are you guy's still there?:

"We are here, Cliffjumper."Optimus called. "We are sending a ground bridge to your coordinates. I fear that it will not be open long, so enter as quickly as possible."

:Got it:came the calm reply.

Ratchet typed in the coordinates displayed on the screen, and pushed the lever. The ground bridge sputtered a moment before whiring to life. Two engines rumbled through the all ready closing bridge. A red car with what appeared to be the horns of a bull came through, closely followed by a blue motorcycle. The gound bridge closed on it's own, before Ratchet could push the lever back down.

"Frag it!"Ratchet shouted as a small line of smoke started to come from the bridge.

"Well, hello to you to."Cliffjumper said, transforming.

"You will have to forgive Ratchet. We are having many technical difficulties."Optimus said. "You must be Cliffjumper."

"The one and only."Cliff replied proudly.

"And you are Arcee."Optimus said, adressing the blue femme. "I have heard of you. Very strong and brave, a good solider."

"Thank you, sir."Arcee said firmly.

"What about me?"Cliffjumper asked."Have you heard nice things about me?"

Optimus thought a moment. "I do not remember hearing of a 'Cliffjumper'."Optimus said.

Arcee snickered a bit. "i could think of a few things for ya', Cliff. Loud, annoying..."

"All right, all right!"Cliff said. Cliff turned back to the leader of the Autobots. "Is it just you two mechs here?"

Optimus shook his helm. He motioned to them to follow him. He stopped before the open berthroom door.

"We have a third amongst us."Optimus said in a very low and soft voice.

Arcee and Cliffjumper looked in. They saw the youngling with his back to them, facing the wall. He was equivalent to that of a fourteen or fifeteen year old human.

"You have a kid with you?"Arcee asked."And he's sick."she added, noticing a bottle of medicine on the desk and a bucket by the berth.

Optimus vented. "That is Bumblebee."

"I heard of him."Cliffjumper said. "He's been with your squadron since you found him. One of the last younglings, if not the last one period."

"Bumblebee was on the mission to Tyger Pax."Optimus continued.

Arcee's optics widened for a second. Eveybot still around knew of the Tyger Pax mission. There hadn't been any reported survivors.

"He confronted Megatron himself."Optimus said. "They tortured him for imformation, the location of this very base. He would not comply, and they silenced him."

"He's still here though."Cliffjumper said.

"They ripped out his voice box."Optimus replied.

Cliff rubbed a hand over his throat area, as if imagining if it had been him. He couldn't imagine not being able to speak. "Ouch."

Optimus nodded. "Feel free to explore the base at your own will, and find rooms for yourselves. If you need anything, Ratchet and I will either be in the main hangar, our own quartersm or with Bumblebee."

"Got it."Cliff replied.

Optimus gave a final nod before leaving to return to the main hangar. As soon as he was gone, Cliffjumper entered Bumblebee's room. He looked at the youngling, who had flipped onto his back. He was still in recharge.

"Cliff, what are you doing?"Arcee asked in a loud whisper.

"Checkin' him out."Cliffjumper replied. "The last youngling, tortured bu Megatron, silenced in a way death cannot. Sound's kinda poetic."

Arcee rolled her optics. "Let's get out of here before he wakes up."

Cliff wasn't listening. He had taken a corner of the big blanket and quickly pulled it off.

"Clifjumper!"

"Yikes. Megsy did a number on him."Cliffjumper ignored her. "Look at all those scarrs, poor kid."

Arcee nodded. "All the more reason for us to leave before he-"

Bumblebee' optics started to flicker. He felt very cold as he shivered harder then before. As his optics finally focused, he jumped back in surprise. He would have shouted, but the lack of voice retarded that. He coughed a few times, violently, but not bringing up any energon blood. Cliff, feeling bad for having woken him up, put the blankets back over the shivering and now frightened youngling.

"Sorry, kid."CLiffjumper said sincerly."Didn't meen to wake ya', or startle you. I'm Cliffjumper, and this is Arcee. We just got here."

Bumblebee pointed to his chasis. "Bumb-"he choked.

He started to cough violently again, a hand clasped firmly over his mouth as his entire frame violently shook and lurched. He reached over to the desk, trying to grab a white rag from it. Arcee rolled her optics a bit.

_Just like a Praxian._ she thought._Have to be so neat about everything._

She humored him anyways, grabbing the rag and pressing it over his mouth. Bumblebee, still choking and coughing, shakinly put his own hand over it, and she removed her own. His violent wet coughs soon slowed down until they stopped. Bumblebee leaned over a bit, the rag pressed firmly over his mouth still. He leaned against the back of the berth before removing it. He folded it in half, trying to hide the amount of energon blood that was on the rag. Both Cliffjumper and Arcee saw it, but stayed silent about it.

"Take it easy, kid."Cliffjumper said."We all ready know your name. Bumblebee, right?"

A small nod was the yellow mech's reply. He looked at them, as if to ask what they were doing there.

"We just got here."Cliff answered the unasked question. "Guess you can saw we're new recuits. Jumped through a 'Con space bridge."

Bumblebee's young optics widened. His blue optics pleaded for the story. Cliffjumper pulled the chair over from the desk and sat down.

"You ever hear of Shockwave?"he asked.

As he started to tell the story, Arcee stood next to him. She didn't say much except to correct an exhadgerated detail or add her own imput. Bumblebee listened with intrest, wishing that he could speak. He had tons of questions to ask the red, horned mech and the blue femme. As Cliffjumper continued to talk, Bumblebee's optics began to flicker. Arcee put a hand on Cliffjumper's shoulder, to get his attenion.

"What, did I say something wrong?"Cliff asked.

"No, but you may be over doing it."Arcee said, motioning towards the half-asleep youngling.

Cliff nodded in understanding. "Hey, kid, why don't we wait to finish the story?"

Bumblebee lifte one shoulder and let it drop, not having the strenght to do much else. His optics shut off, and his helm tilted to the side before he could stop it.

"Poor kid."Cliff said as he and Arcee left the room.

F0F0F0F0F0F

Back in the main hangar, Optimus and Ratchet had been working on the ground bridge and moniter. Optimus had checked on Bumblebee once, only to find him being well taken care of. He looked almost happy listening to Cliffjumper's story. Optimus had decided to leave them alone, not wanting to inturrupt.

Cliffjumper and Arcee had joined them again in the main hanger a few minutes later. Optimus looked at them as the entered.

"Kid fell asleep."Cliffjumper answered. "Was telling him about how me and Arcee escaped from Shockwave."

"Arcee and I."Ratchet vented as he corrected the red mech.

"You wern't there."Cliffjumper said, knowing very well what Ratchet meant.

Ratchet rolled his optics.

"What was it that the Decepticons are seeking?"Optimus asked.

"This base."Arcee said simply.

Optimus nodded. "I thought as much."

Cliffjumper saw this as a golden opportunity to retell his story to new audios. He loved to talk, that much was obvious. Near the end of his story, a strange noise came from Bumblebee's berthroom. Ratchet and Optimus stood up at the same time.

"I have this, old friend."Optimus said before hurridly leaving the main hangar.

Optimus went in to Bumblebee's room without hesitation. Bumblebee was leaning over the side of ther berth, over the bucket, choking and retching. Optimus went to his side, and helped him up, placing the bucket on the berth before Bumblebee passed out and fell over. Bumblebee took a few deep vents, swallowing a few times, trying to rid himself of the bitter and acidic taste of blood and tank acids in his mouth.

"Are you finished?"Optimus asked.

Bumblebee weakly nodded. Optimus put the bucket back on the floor. He stroked his servo as Bumblebee's helm lay to the side, though he was still wake. He shakily breathed out. His optics flickered a few times, in exhaustion and weakness.

"Go back to recharge, okay?"Optimus said gently.

Bumblebee just looked at him with his sunken in optics. His helm made a small nodding movement. As Optimus left, he shut off the lights.

"Is he doing all right?"Ratchet asked, still trying to manipulate the moniter to do his bidding.

Optimus vented out. "His tank was upset from the amount of blood swallowed."Optimus answered. "His temperature has spiked as well."

Ratchet vented. "I'll check on him in the morning. He needs to rest now."

Optimus nodded in understanding."It has been a long day, Ratchet. We could all use some recharge."

With that, the medic and Prime went their separate ways and to their own quarters

F0F0F0F0F0F

"Hey, kid, you up?"a voice came from the hall.

Bumblebee onlined his optics and looked the red mechs way.

"Mornin', Bee."Cliffjumper said with a smile as he went into the room. "I remembered that I never finished my story. Would you like me to finish it?"

Bumblebee cracked a small smile. He gave a small nod of his helm. He didn't look very good, by Cliffjumper's view anyways. His optics were even more sunken in then before and had a very glazed look. He was shaking, and energon blood ran down the corner of his mouth from time to time.

Cliffjumper started to talk to Bumblebee. The yellow youngling listened with interest for a bit, but soon his optics drifted. His helm tilted to the side, and his optics seemed to be fixed on the wall. Cliffjumper stopped the story.

"Bumblebee, are you all right?"Cliffjumper asked.

There was no reply from the youngling. His optics didn't seem to be focused on anything, they were glazed over with fever, and were dimmly lit. Ratchet entered, true to his promice of checking on him in the morning.

"Bumblebee."Ratchet started. When no reply came, he turned to the red mech. "What did you do to him?"

"Nothing!"Cliff said, throwing his hands up in defence." I was just talking to him and he kinda zoned out on me."

Ratchet had a picked up a bottle from the desk. It was a deep brown, and didn't allow a very clear view of what it held. Ratchet also had what appeared to be a spoon of some sort in his other hand. He poured the liquid from the bottle onto the spoon. It was a dark brown and very watery.

"Bumblebee, open your mouth."Ratchet said.

Bumblebee made no movement. Ratchet gave him a little shake. The youngling jumped a bit and looked at the medic in shock. Before anything else could happen, Ratchet had thrust the spoon into Bumblebee's slightly open mouth. He choked for a minute, but managed to swallow the bitter medicine.

"Bumblebee, how are you feeling this morning?"Ratchet asked, speaking slowly to allow the youngling's processor to pick up his words easier.

Bumblebee shrugged one shoulder. To any other mech, this would have been either a good sign or an obvious lie. To Ratchet, you had known Bumblebee since a sparkling, knew that this was a very negative sign. Bumblebee was not one to say when something was bothering him, whether it was emotionally or physically. A shrug was the same thing as saying 'no' or something of that sort.

"Bumblebee, you are not to listen to Cliffjumper today."Ratchet said.

Cliffjumper was about to protest when Ratchet continued to speak.

"You need to rest. You are to do nothing else. No reading, no writing, no nothing."Ratchet started.

Bumblebee opened his moth to speak, but stopped. He reached under the blankets and took out a data-pad. It was blank, and had a stylus attached to it. Bumblebee started to write on it, only to answer Ratchet. It had been an idea of Cliffjumper's from the previous day. It was obvious that Bumblebee wanted to ask him questions, but had no way to ask them. Then, Cliffjumper had the brilliant idea to give him a blank data-pad to write on and communicate with.

'Ratchet you dont need to worry' Bumblebee wrote, to tired to use proper punctuation and the like.

"I do need to worry."Ratchet said. "You need to rest, got it?"

Bumblebee turned the data-pad back to him and cleared it. He wrote again.

'Yes Ratchet'

Ratchet gave him a nod before shoving Cliffjumper from the room.

"Hey, take it easy, doc!" Cliffjumper exclaimed as he was pushed into the main hangar.

Ratchet paid him no mind as he let go of the red servo and walked straight over to Optimus.

"Optimus, I...I need to speak to you."

"What is on your mind, old friend?"Optimus asked.

Ratchet vented. "It's about Bumblebee."

Optimus' optics hardened for a second in concern."Yes?"

"His condition is... getting worse. His health is rapidly deteriating. I don't know if he can hold on much longer."

Optimus shuttered his optics as he turned away. He vented heavily at the verbal blow. He didn't turn back to Ratchet as he spoke.

"How long do you think he has?"

"If his condition does not change for the better..."Ratchet started. "I don't think he'll make it through tonight."

"So today could be his last."Optimus said, stating it with much grief lacing his voice."How is the contraption you are working on?"

"It is finished."Ratchet replied, no pride in his voice.

"Will you give it to him?"Optimus asked. "If he is...If today is to be his last, it would be a great thing for him to speak again. And to hear his voice."

"Optimus, you know that he will not be able to speak like us, correct?"Ratchet asked. "It will be very similar to a sparklings sounds. Beeps and clicks and whirrs."

Optimus nodded. "I understand."

"All right."

F0F0F0F0F0F

"How does that feel?"Ratchet asked a little less then an hour later.

/I-It's.../Bumblebee tried out his new voice./Nice. Different, though/

Ratchet smirked at that. "You will get used to it."

Bumblebee could barely manage a nod. He looked exhausted, his fever had yet again risen, and he was no longer able to hold down any form of energon.

"Rest, Bee."Ratchet said."Optimus sai that he will by by later to be with you. If you want to be up then, sleep now."

Bumblebee did not need to be told twice. He was too tired to argue, or even respond. He snuggled under the blankets a bit, and offlined his optics. Ratchet left, shaking his helm. He didn't have the spark to tell him.

F0F0F0F0F0F

Optimus stroked Bumblebee's helm as he choked again. He gagged and retched a few times, finally ridding his tanks of the energon blood flooding them.

"It's all right."Optimus said gently. He inwardly flinched as Bumblebee again gagged. "You're all right."

Bumblebee lay back, panting. It was late. Past Bumblebee's recharge time, and close to Optimus'. Ratchet had been by recently, telling Optimus how late it was and that he needed to go into recharge. Optimus couldn't bring himself to leave the youngling, or turn against his silent pleas of 'stay'. He may not have beeped it out audibly, but his optics begged it. Ratchet had left, knowing that this may very well be their last moments together.

Bumblebee shook and shivered. The blankets were doing little to warm him. Optimus, pitying him, slid into the berth beside him. He covered up both himself and the shaking youngling,

/W-what are you d-doing?/he clicked and whirred.

"You are not generating your own heat. My frame's heat will warm you. If we are both under the blankets, the heat will remain trapped. If you get closer to me, you will warm up even fater." Optimus explained patiently, drawing the youngling cloer to him.

The berth was in a near sitting position. It had been placed that way earlier that day to try and keep Bumblebee from purging regular energon. The only drawback was that now that when he recharged, energon blood from his throat would travel to his tank much easier.

A small moan escaped from Bumblebee. Optimus picked him up and lay hin on top of his red and blue chasis. Bumblebee closed his optics was Optimus stroked his pounding helm.

/I-I don't wanna go/Bumblebee said in a near whisper.

The words stabbed Optimus' spark a way a blade could never.

"It is not your choice, Bumblebee."Optimus forced himself to say. All he wanted to say was 'Then don't leave. Don't go, don't offline.' Instead, he found himself saying in a low voice that threatened to break, "We do not choose the moment of our leaving. Primus himself does that for us."

/I-I't not fair!/ Bumblebee said in weakening beeps. /Why d-does he get to c-choose? Shouldn't it b-be my own choi-choice?/

"It may seem that way, but we only see what is right in front of us. Primus sees what is behind us, what is in front of us, and what is before us. He knows when it is time for us to leave this world for he sees the bigger picture."Optimus said, holding Bumblebee closer to him.

/I-I dn't want to go/Bumblebee now cried. /If i-t really was my time, w-would I really fight a-aginst him so h-hard?/

Optimus thought for a moment. When he had seen a bot die, they were almost all ways calm and peaceful. They accepted what was happening, and embraced it. Bumblebee was figting denta and digit for his life.

"Are you really fighting against him, or are you just frightened?"Optimus asked, rocking back and forth gently.

/I'm not scared/Bumblebee said in a voice that meant what he said. He said it in a voice that had found new strenght, pulling himself together to answer bravely and truthfully.

He fell limp as the energy left him just as quickly as it had come. Tears slipped from his flickering optics as he could feel his energy slipping away even more.

"Bumblebee."Optimus said in a near whisper."If...if it is your time, please, do not fight it. It will only make it harder on yourself, and me."

Bumblebee didn't answer. He had started to pant and gasp. His breathing would almost seem to get stuck, and Optimus would fear that it wouldn't resume. Bumblebee always, somehow, managed to gasp again and continued to pant. He started to choke and cough. His entire frame shook as he choked and coughed harder. A mixture of energon blood and phlem came from him, followed by a whimper.

"It's all right."Optimus comforted, reching over to the desk and getting the new rag.

He wiped off Bumblebee's face a bit. Bumblebee seemed to have calmed down some. Optimus could feel the weakened change in the yellow mech. He felt even lighter and more limp then he did a few minutes ago. He curled into Optimus a bit more as well.

/I'm tired/ Bumblebee murmured.

Those words stabbed Optimus' spark the way a blade could never. It scared the Prime, hearing those two words.

"Go to sleep then, Bee."Optimus said in a whisper, shuttering his own optics as he looked at the yellow frame.

It was begining to gray. Slowly, the yellow paint was fading. If Optimus' had been looking at Bee's face, he would have seen the flickering optics burning with a detemined fire. He would have seen them flicker on and off, but gain a bit more light. If his optics had been open, he would have seen the frame gain a small amount of color.

He did not though, and kept his own optics closed. Bumblebee snuggled into him a bit more.

/D-don't wor-ry/Bumblebee barely managed to say./I'll wake up. I-/A coughing fit siezed him, making it take a few moment for him to finish. /P-promice/

"Bumblebee, you cannot promice that."Optimus said, his voice breaking and a tear slipping down his face plate.

Bumblebee looked up at him. Optimus opened his optics, a few more tears leaking out. Bumblebee shakily reached up and wiped them away with his thumb digit.

/I-I can/he said./Don't worry 'bout me. I'm not going anywhere/

Bumblebee curled back up on the CO and his optics offlined.

F0F0F0F0F0F

"Well?"Optimus asked, a yellow youngling still resting on his chest plates.

"His fever's broken."Ratchet said. "The infection is nearly gone, and his throat is healing."

Optimus had spent a long night with Bee. Optimus had been afraid to fall into recharge, fearing that the moment he did so the youngling would leave him. He had stayed up the entire night, checking to make sure that he was still breathing.

Bumblebee shifted a bit. He onlined his optics after they flickered a moment. He looked up into the medic's face. He streached out a bit.

/Mornin'/

Optimus wasn't able to hide the relieved look on his face, nor was he able to wipe the smile from his face plates.

"How are you feeling, Bumblebee?"Optimus asked, holding his steady.

/To tell you the truth.../Bumblebee started, inwardly smirking at the flash of worry that crossed the medic's face. /I'm starving/

Ratchet rolled his optics and chuckled as he left to get a cube for the Bee.

OoOoOoOoOoO

Bumblebee continued to look at that picture of Cliffjumper. He had only intended to think about his first moments with the red mech, but found himself remembering the entire story. Cliffjumper had spent alot of time with him as he finished recovering from Tyger Pax. He would talk with him, tell him war stories, play board games with him and the like. Cliff had been like the older brother Bumblebee never had.

Arcee noticed him looking at the picture.

"He wouldn't have wanted you to do it."Arcee said.

Bumblebee shook his helm in agreement. /He would have lectured me about it for ages/ Bumblebee took a deep vent. /I really am sorry, Arcee/

Arcee placed her hand on his servo."You're not the only one who needs to apologize."

Bumblebee looked up at her, curious at what she was trying to get at.

"I need to apologize as well."Arcee said. "I was too hard on you."

Bumblebee just shrugged his shoulder./You really weren't that hard. You had a point/

"Maybe, but I didn't go about it the right way."Arcee admitted."I am sorry for that."

/Don't worry about it/Bumblebee beeped in his usual good natured way.

They both stood there for a second, wondering what their next step should be. Arcee was the first to break the awkward silence.

"Is there...anything you want to do?"Arcee asked.

Bumblebee shrugged. His doorwings perked up as a sudden idea hit him. /Wanna go for a drive? Race maybe?/

"I guess."Arcee said.

/Oh, wait/Bumblebee said.

"What's wrong?"Arcee asked.

/You might drive off the road/Bumblebee said, taking a stance similar to the one Arcee usually stood in, with a hand on his hip.

This earned him a small slap on his chasis.

"Let's just go."Arcee said as they reached the exit.

She transformed and startd to drive out. Bumblebee looked out at the desert a moment, and the retreating blue motorcycle leaving a trail of dust behind her. He felt better, alot better. Happy again. With a cheery chirp he lept toward sthe ground,transforming into an Urbana 500. He sped off after Arcee and into the desert as the entrance closed behind him.

Author's Note- I believe this marks the end of Happy-Go-Lucky. If there is any confusion, please PM me and I will either explain it to you or write a chapter explaining any missed details. Thank you all for your reviews, follows, and favorites! You have all been the greatest!


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